Because I Own the Gym

There's weights and bands
There's pulleys and bikes
Bench presses here
That weightlifters like
There's rowers and cycles and dumbbells and balls
A volley of treadmills
And that's not all
The things in the gym
Have it out for me
I know that it sounds grim
They don't want me to win
They don't want me to win

A stair stepper's good
For the gluteus max
For the quadriceps
And the legs it impacts
But they don't like me at all
It stands against the wall
It starts and then it stalls
It has a lot of gall
It's very personal
It doesn't help at all
It doesn't help at all

Warm up for your cardio
Then do a set of reps
Lift some weights until you're pumped
And know you did your best
But I look like a pumpkin still
And I come here everyday
And do what they all say
But they know I have no skill
But I will come here still

The bench press is great
For your major pecs
The triceps and deltoids
And all your back
But it sits there and mocks me
And the spotters laugh
The plates all watch me
And all the staff
My ego's cut in half
I know they think I'm daff
But I will still come back
But I will still come back

There's weights and bands
There's pulleys and bikes
Bench presses here
That weightlifters like
There's rowers and cycles and dumbbells and balls
A volley of treadmills
And that's not all
The things in the gym
Have it out for me
I know that it sounds grim
They don't want me to win
They don't want me to win

Because I own the gym
Because I own the gym
They don't want me to win